May's Monthly Muse: Bel Crawford from The Self-Love Club

Your Monthly is over the moon to welcome Bel to our monthly muse series for May. This super women is no stranger to hard work, both in her personal and professional life. When she’s not brightening our work days with her week day gig on ZM she is working hard on her own podcast, The Self-Love Club, interviewing women and sharing stories of reliance and personal journeys to self-acceptance.

Bel recently opened up about her own journey recovering from an Eating Disorder and agreed to answer some questions for Your Monthly in an effort to raise awareness of the complexity, prevalence severity and of this mental health issue.

Your Monthly readers, as a responsible practitioner I have to place a trigger warning here as this interview discusses body image and disordered eating. Please know that disordered eating isn’t exclusively reflected in smaller bodies and that recovery is possible. If you or someone you know is affected by disordered eating you can seek support from the following services:

See your GP for a referral to a psychologist or counselor  

Health line: www.healthline.govt.nz

EDANZ: https://www.ed.org.nz/

Bel, you recently wrote about your recovery journey and spoke about in on your podcast. I know you value timing and believe in alignment so I am curious, why now after 10 years of recovery?

There are a few reasons, firstly at the time I was recovering I was starting my broadcasting career so I was really focused on that. I refused to let my eating disorder ruin my career I was working so hard for, it already felt like it was ruining my life (cue melodramatic teenager line) and I’m a headstrong gal so I wasn’t going to let it win or stop me.
It’s also not something I ever planned to share it in fact hardly anyone knew about it at all, I really battled to talk about it to my family let alone anyone else.
When I realized it had been 10 years I realized how far I’d come and if sharing my story could help others then it was worth it. Helping others and empowering others to feel good  is important to me.

Many people associate eating disorders with the idea that it begins or continues as an idealization or drive to change one’s body shape. I hear people who have no lived experience make comments such as “I could never have an eating disorder, I like food too much!”. Those who have lived through an eating disorder or know someone who has struggled with this know it is more complex. Can you speak to this assumption in an effort to educate people?

I think there is a huge need for education and better understanding.  I guess it’s hard when someone hasn’t experienced it themselves. Comments like this are really not helpful at all. I’ve heard people say things like “Oh I’m so anorexic today I’ve hardly eaten anything” they have no idea.  
It’s different for everyone. Mine started following comments about my body and food which were probably innocent. It’s so much more than just not eating, it’s a mental illness which takes over your mind and life.

We know that eating disorder recovery is so much more than weight. What does recovery mean to you? Do you think that recovery is final or is this something you work at continuously?

Again it’s so different for everyone. And yes it’s 100% way more than weight. It’s reprogramming your thoughts, beliefs about yourself, your relationship with food and exercise and ultimately learning to love yourself. I used to punish myself, now I nourish myself.
For me I’ve had a really good relationship with food for years now, this took a lot of work. It’s still in my nature to be very hard on myself in general.

I speak with Your Monthly clients about how recovery is not linear. Recovery can take twists, turns, bumps and pauses. Sometimes there is hopelessness and as someone who has moved through this I would love to know what advice you would offer to someone living with an eating disorder no matter where they are at in their recovery?

An eating disorder is relentless, probably the most horrible thing I’ve ever experienced mentally. I don’t think people release how much of a mind f it is.
For me I want to give hope. That’s the reason I shared my story. Hope that you CAN get through it, it’s not going to be easy but it’s 100% possible, and you CAN be free of it. If I can do it, then I promise so can you.
I recommend to everyone that messages me about their eating disorder to find a really good therapist, I couldn’t have done it without mine.
Where ever you are at, you can do this! Get all of the help you can, people want to help you.

You can read more about Bel’s recovery over on her personal blog by following the link here and be sure to check out her podcast, The Self-Love Club