July's Monthly Muse: Ellie Haines
This month’s muse is the delightful Ellie of Loving Ellie’s Belly, and she’s like a breath of fresh air. She’s unapologetically honest, hilarious and kind of silly (in all the best ways) and the comedian behind many viral videos such as this goodie.
While her social media presence may appear light hearted there is a deeper motivation behind Ellie’s willingness to let us in on her life (her fiancé Brett, comical #gifted try-on’s and even her mum has become a celebrity among her followers). Ellie speaks about her journey to self-worth, surviving an abusive relationship and struggle with her relationship with food. She challenges women to see themselves as more than their bodies and even questions brands for not supporting size diversity among women. Your Monthly spoke with Ellie about her relationship with her body, her views on societies drive for thinness and importance of choosing your “tribe” if you want to be uplifted by those around you.
Many of your long time followers (including Your Monthly!) remember your social media debut having a very different tone, purpose and direction. Your account was originally named “Loosing Ellie’s Belly”. Can you tell us a little about the moment you realised you were willing to share a journey to acceptance rather than a desire to change the body you were already in?
GOOD TIMES! so yes, when I first started Instagram it was ‘Loosing Ellie’s Belly’ which was when I was at a stage in my life where I got DUMPED (how dare he) and I was on a mission to lose weight before my trip to Europe! I documented everything to do with ‘weight loss’, what food I ate, my weight on the scales, me at the gym 2-3 times a day, my results of weight loss etc. it was extremely unhealthy what I was promoting, I never celebrated my body at the size it was, I was always talking about how my body needed to be ‘smaller’.
I then went to an opening of a documentary called ‘EMBRACE’, which was created by the incredible Tarryn (@bodyimagemovement), she was a bodybuilder who has a ripped body! A body that most would idolise, she then had beautiful babies and had a GORGEOUS body after (lucky bitch), she put a photo online of a before and after, yet her before was her as the body builder and her after was her beautiful curves.. And it went viral.
The comments were absolutely awful, saying she was fat disgusting etc. so she decided to create a movement and interview people around the world and talk about self-love. She interviews a top model and the model said that they used cotton balls dipped into juice to reduce their appetite in order to get their ‘dream body’ and yet were still not happy. This documentary was an absolute eye opener for me. After the show, I got talking to Tarryn and we decided that my page needed to change. I had a look at my insights and I had many young girls follow me! SO on the way home I changed the page name to ‘LOVING Ellie’s Belly’ and my page changed since that night. I now celebrate my body at all stages, still try (lol TRY needs to be in caps) to be healthy, talk about self-love and all sorts of topics that may not be shed light to online! best decision I ever made! This documentary is on TVNZ on demand and I HIGHLY recommend it for all.
When working with clients I often ask them about triggers of poor body image and how this impacts on their self-acceptance. We talk about body image being a moving or fluid concept (it can change in a moment) and the importance of not being fixated on the idea of self-love but rather feeling less awful about the body they are already in. I love that you share the highs and the lows of your own relationship with your body and I think this helps your audience to see self-acceptance as something that needs to be worked at over a life time rather than a place that you “arrive” at. If you could list 3 things that have made a difference to your self-acceptance or body image what would they be?
I am a huge quote girl! So, I will give two quotes that have helped me massively with my body acceptance.
“If tomorrow women woke up and decided that they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business”
“The girl in the magazine doesn’t even look like the girl in the magazine”
One other thing that has helped me massively is being so picky with who I follow! Gosh that changed things for me! I used to follow big super stars that had these lifestyles and clothes and items that made me feel like a poor bitch and I wasn’t achieving, I unfollowed them and try to follow as many inspiring and ‘normal’ people as I can and it has helped so much.
It appears that 2019 is the year that we get to call bullshit on most of the societal norms that marginalise and discriminate members of society. Along with race, gender and sexuality, size or body diversity is another issue we need to speak out about. Many men and women are discriminated against because of their size (think clothing stores, seat sizes, language used by health professionals and there is even evidence of pay inequity among those in larger bodies compared to smaller). Why do you think it is important to speak out in support for body diversity?
I think with any huge topic that causes diversity it’s important to speak up and open discussions and healthy arguments over them. Sometimes sharing stories about the battles with being plus size opens people who don’t struggle eyes and helps them to realise the battles another person is going through. I actually remember a new station asking me to go against a doctor in Australia after he said ‘plus size modelling needs to stop, its promoting obesity’ and I was so scared. BUT I did it, I helped be a voice for those who don’t have it or are afraid to speak up. You cannot judge someone’s healthy by their weight, and that’s what I said back to this doc. #wanker
The more I speak up about body diversity the more I hear back on how I have helped people, and that’s what matters! Depression is way too high, especially here in NZ and if I can help people realise they are not alone, and they are actually fine the way they are, then I have done a good dead in this world I say! And if by doing that I have to put my body online and be open to nasty comments then I will.
Do you think approaching things with humour makes it easier to challenge common beliefs or have tougher conversations?
I personally think yes! It enlightens a situation and makes things not so serious! Obviously in some situations, conversations I need to put my humour approach aside as there is definitely a time and a place for humour, but in most cases humour has helped me a lot!
Your Insta-stories give us some insight into the wonderful people in your life. What role do you think your tribe has played in your self-acceptance journey as well as your online presence?
HUGE ROLE! The people who surround me in my day-to-day life are so supportive and uplifting! I don’t think they realise the job that it can be for me sometimes though, the responding, responsibility, conversations and pressure that it can have being an online presence (mum and dad mainly as social media is just still so crazy for them), my partner Brett is super supportive! Especially during times where I have had very nasty things said to me, he’s the one to pick up those pieces and let me cry and then he has my back, my siblings give me shit but that’s what siblings are for isn’t it! My family also know how to approach me in a serious way, there have been times that I have let my health and body get a little unhealthy and dad mainly is the one to pull me up and say sort your shit out girl ha-ha. So they all have a huge role in supporting me and helping me through it all.
For more content that makes you laugh, reflect on body image and societies thin idealization (and how messed up that really is) then make sure to check out Ellie on her platforms @lovingelliesbelly and her You Tube channel here.